First Post!
08/04/26
Last month I began learning HTML. I played around with the font settings and the style sheet for a litte, but soon after I began, I stopped. I quickly realized that I had no vision of where to go, so I looked for other people's webpages as an inspiration. I was quickly met with an overwhelming beauty and creative output from the many webpage developers here on Neocities, but instead of inspiring me, it instead made me realize how far I would have to go before I reached the astounding skill many of these developers have. Their art, programming, and structure... I can't even begin to imagine how much time was taken to make all of it. Of course with all of this came the crushing realizing how much more time it would take me.
Time. for some reason I'm very precious about it. My 'time' must be used efficiently, and while I'm never really thinking it, it seems my brain acts like this is my law. I must do things quickly and perfectly because of 'time'. That means I never gave myself 'time' to try things, because if I failed, that would be waste of time! Recently, I started to attempt art. It's kind of still a "here or there" type of activity to me though, because I am afraid of my art turning out bad. The process of art, though, proved to me that it can't be done quickly, nor can someone teach you how to do it quickly. It is slow. And while I wanted to be a great artist, the time I'd have to spend not being a great artist would be a 'waste' of 'time'. But thinking back, all of the times I dreamed of putting my mind's eye on paper was spent in my head instead of actually working towards it. Who knows how good I could've been by now? In that respect, I'm going to do a favor for my future self. Maybe there's some addictions that I can't break for her, but I can make a dream come true, and create something beautiful, just like something many others have done, right here on this website.
I have some future ideas, hopefully an art blog, a gamedev (& gaming) blog, little fun things like stamps, and an arg I've had in mind for a long time. There's not a lot I can do other than practice though, so it's going to be a long time coming. If you're reading this while its my only post up, thank you! I wish I could have something like comments or a chat, someway for you to perhaps encourage, critisize, or otherwise give feedback to me about what I'm doing here and for myself, but I don't know how to do that yet, lol. Anyways, hope this first post wasn't too cheezy or anything. Stick around fetacheeze.neocities.org to catch my next update! I'm FetaCheeze, and I'll talk to you soon!
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